Not So Average Joe

supamuthafuckinvillain:

This makes me extremely content.

Having late late late dinner with my best friend, it’s just. Wowzers.

Haven’t seen her in a while and she’s like one of the few people I can actually keep eye contact with for a whole conversation.

No make up at all and she looks really pretty anyways. agshdjs

Turned out to be a decent night.

Might lose my job.

Idk.

The union guy says they can’t fire me because they think I don’t move fast enough, but it still sucks knowing my manager threw me under the bus like that in front of the boss lady.

She says I’m the best worker when she needs me, but she’ll tell the boss lady that I’m not doing well enough. Fuuuuck that.

Can’t afford to lose this job.

Need money.

For car payments.

And hookers…

Mostly hookers.

weagueofwegends:

So we had someone named “Always Surrender” on our team and…

weagueofwegends:

So we had someone named “Always Surrender” on our team and…

So the drugstore I was in today had a perfume display. Here are some of the perfumes I came across.

jessicarabbit:

tenr0se:

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Dirt

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Funeral Home

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Weed

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Grass

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Holy Water

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Laundromat

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Leather

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New Zealand 

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Play-Doh 

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Wet Garden

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Tomato

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Suntan Lotion

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Sex on the Beach

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Riding Crop

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Soap

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And Finally, Swimming Pool

"No officer, for the last time, I did not smoke weed. Thats just my new perfume, cannabis flower"

rocknrollercoaster:

Rappers with puppies.

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now